Binge; Disappointment; Rationalizing
At this point on the Wheel of Suffering, a last-minute, deadline driven frenzy of writing erupts. With or without the use of stimulants of various sorts, long binges of work ensue in an adrenalized state of hyperactivity. Everything else in life is sidelined and forgotten as the monomaniacal focus on writing takes center stage.
You might feel both dread and thrill in trying to beat the clock and perhaps a perverse sense of satisfaction that you were able to procrastinate for so long and yet will still be able to complete the project.
Generally, if you finish in this way, you know you could have done a better job if you had not been forced to write in a manic binge. There may be a sense of disappointment in either the final product, yourself, or both. After this disappointment comes the ego soothing mental exercise where you tell yourself that you really are more capable than the writing shows, and that you could have done better if you had had sufficient time. You might also come up with other rationalizations that explain why things turned out the way they did.
“I’ll Do Better Next Time!”
This is the juncture where, after the work is completed, you make a promise to yourself to change how you approach your writing. You know it would be better to not procrastinate and mentally, you reaffirm your commitment to this goal.
The problem is that you leave out the implementation of a clear and defined plan to accomplish these non-trivial changes in your behavior. Somehow you feel it is enough to simply tell yourself that it will be different next time. But it isn’t.
You start another journey around the wheel.